The Odd Age of 23
In a few days, I will be 23. I imagine it will feel… odd. Would I say it’s a big change? Would I say it’s unnerving? Would I be able to consider myself as someone in their mid-twenties? I don’t know. Nothing is “unlocked” like a 16-year-old finally being able to get their driver’s license. Or an 18-year-old finally being able to open their first credit card. But 23? I’m sure you get the point by now.
Although turning 23 doesn’t necessarily “unlock” anything, there are many things I can look at that are more prized to me than the typical milestones of life. Many things have sculpted me and my perception of life in ways that I could not have imagined. From the myriad of challenges, experiences, and people I’ve encountered, I’ve learned 23 life lessons from my 23 years of life that I want to share with you (and, primarily, my younger self). Here it goes.
Dear Kelvin (And Readers)
1. Sometimes, Jesus won’t change your circumstances because He wants to change you instead.
You will encounter things in life you won’t understand. You will be in places that don’t feel right. You will feel stuck. You won’t have every answer to every longing question. But remember this: Jesus is King. Jesus is in control. Jesus is sovereign. He knows what He is doing. He will place you in uncomfortable situations so that you can thrive spiritually and become more like Jesus.
2. Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders work in vain.
You can make all the plans you want in life, but it is only the Lord who can establish your steps. Your plans may fail. Sometimes a door will close. And even sometimes, all doors will close. Perhaps, the walls alongside those doors might crumble down as well. Place your faith in Him during those vulnerable times and ask Him for a sight to see what He wants to build instead. Align your heart with His, and partner with Him.
3. Jesus has brought you this far not to abandon you.
There will be moments in life where you feel forsaken It will feel like your prayers are bouncing off the walls and ceilings of the room. It will feel like you can’t hear His voice in your reading of Scripture. It will feel like He is not moving in your life. I want you to realize something: His hands have been over every single life event you’ve been through. Recount His grace in your past life events. That same grace is with you today. Jesus is working out all things for your good even when you don’t see it. He is with you even when you don’t feel like He is. Strive to be in His presence and you will find Him in the secret place.
4. Jesus tests us to succeed while Satan tempts us to fail.
The Devil will use whatever means he can to lead us away from Christ. He wants to see us fall into temptation. He wants us to suffer. And if those things aren’t enough to lead us astray, he will want us to prosper in worldly comfort as long as it turns us away from God. Amidst such things, Jesus turns what the Enemy meant for evil into our good. Jesus reinstates us through His Word so that we can prosper in faith.
5. Jesus is the cure for your loneliness.
Everyone experiences loneliness to one degree or another. Being in the presence of many friends won’t solve that issue. Being distracted by the things of this world won’t help. Such outlets were never meant to fill the aching void that only Christ was meant to fill.
6. Jesus sees you, knows you, and understands you better than anyone else.
Before the foundations of the world, God foreknew you. He knew your name. He knew your deepest afflictions. He knew your secret prayers. He knew your deepest, darkest sins, and yet, He chose to cover them with His blood even before you were born. He has seen all of you and—even though He has no need—He still wants all of you.
7. Jesus will bring you to places spiritually that are uncomfortable.
It is an understatement to say that following Jesus is hard. He calls us to love when it’s the hardest to love. He calls us to forgive when we’ve been horribly wronged. He calls us to pray for those who continue to hurt us. Although it might feel impossible to do such things, we have the Spirit of Christ in us who enables us to follow in His ways. His Spirit is the Spirit of peace. Lean into the Spirit as you tread new spiritual territories.
8. Jesus doesn’t just diagnose your sin; He supplies the Remedy.
You are not called just to acknowledge your sinful life. You are not left helpless in your hellhound ways. Christ became the perfect and unblemished sacrifice far greater than the lambs that Israel once sacrificed to atone for your sins. He provided Himself as the Remedy to your diagnosis of sin and death, giving you not only the bad news of your sin but also the good news of grace, forgiveness, and justification through faith in Him. Through Him, you have victory over sin and death. Look to Him as the Remedy. Now, spread not only the bad news but also the good news.
9. Although you have been saved, you are still being saved.
Christ didn’t intend to just save you from the consequences of sin and death when He died on the cross and rose again. He also intends to save you from your former self today. He still delivers you from the hardships that this life brings today. And sometimes, He does so in ways that we do not expect.
10. Human love will always, always fail.
Human love won’t meet your needs in ways that only God can. When you are alone, not always will someone be there. When you are misunderstood, not always will someone hear you. When you sin, not always will someone love you. Remember this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. This is love at its fullest culmination. Shift your eyes ultimately to God, not man. You won’t be disappointed because His love never fails.
11. It’s not faith that saves; it’s the object of faith that does.
Everyone has some kind of faith—whether it be in Jesus, a false Jesus, another deity, nature, science, or themselves. Faith alone, in this sense, does not necessarily save. The object of your faith is what matters. In whom do you place your faith? In whom do you trust? Your salvation is contingent on the object of your faith. Let your faith object be the true Jesus Christ of the true Gospel of the true God.
12. Don’t live based on your feelings.
In this postmodern world, we’re so used to the principle of “follow your heart.” However, our hearts are filled with feelings and emotions that are ever so fleeting. Our hearts are, as Scripture says, sick—filled with sin. We naturally desire things that are contrary to the will of God, and because of our sinful nature, we would do anything to achieve such desires. We will spiritually fail. Unlike our feelings, God’s Word is never fleeting, never changing, and never failing. Live based on the Word.
13. Journaling helps you to see God’s grace in your past events.
This doesn’t have to be a daily thing, but you should journal about impactful experiences, whether positive or negative. It would best serve you to write down your thoughts, feelings, experiences, prayers, and praises as raw as possible. Process these things with the Lord. Be honest. Be vulnerable. And I promise you that one day when you look back at those entries, you will see how God answered your specific prayers and was with you through all of it.
14. Repentance is more than just “doing.”
When you fall short and sin, you might want to run to His Word immediately. You might want to pray immediately. You might want to do more to seem approvable immediately. Doing such things won’t benefit you if your mind hasn’t shifted to see how God’s grace actually works. Repentance (in Greek: metanoia), by definition, is a change of mind. It is a turning away from sin and turning to God. It is basing our actions on His grace rather than basing His grace on our actions. Shift your mind before “doing.”
15. Feeling unsaved is evidence you are indeed saved.
There will be days you feel you cannot stop sinning even if you tried. And with these days, there will come feelings of grief, shame, and, above all, unworthiness—the feeling of being unworthy to approach His throne of grace; the feeling of being unredeemable; the feeling of being unsaved. It is in these very moments that we confidently know we are saved because we not only acknowledge our sinfulness before Jesus but also want to do something about it. He’s given you sight to see sin. Now, He gives you sight to see amazing grace. Strive for Jesus in these very moments.
16. Asking for forgiveness is much more difficult than giving apologies.
Admitting our faults has never been easier. Most times, we can own up to our wrongs in an instant. Other times, we might want to say we’re sorry just to get things over with. However, if we want to seek forgiveness, we require true humility on our part. This kind of humility acknowledges our wrongdoing, the hurt it caused, and the strain it might’ve brought to the relationship. The humbling act of seeking forgiveness is costly, but it is worth it in every way.
17. How you respond to unfair treatment often reveals where your heart is.
Bitterness and resentment are almost always immediate emotions we feel when we have been wronged. We are quick to respond in these ways when we have not meditated on God’s grace and forgiveness. Bitterness and resentment are slow killers if not dealt with quickly. They will corrupt your character, your view of others, and your view of God. Let the love of Christ control you to forgive just as Christ has forgiven you. Let the love of Christ set you free from the burden of resentment you weren’t called to carry. As Jesus said, he who is forgiven little loves little. Meditate on His grace and forgiveness over your many sins. Get right with Jesus.
18. Sometimes God brings people into your life momentarily to teach you perspectives eternally.
The reality of life is that people come and go. Whether it be someone you once went to school with, dated, or randomly met at an event, God can use such people to teach you a new outlook on faith. There is a monumental purpose behind even the slightest events of life. Don’t take these encounters for granted and see what God is trying to teach you through those who’ve only been in your life briefly.
19. Moving on can only be done by moving through.
Choosing to mentally and emotionally invest in our past heartaches that God called us out of will ever so stumble us. Don’t just dwell on such things. Rather, process your thoughts and feelings with Jesus and His people. Embrace the heartache and the questions it may bring. Grieve. Mourn. Find healing in Jesus. There’s a reason to move forward in His will just as there’s a reason things in the past weren’t sustained, and you can only do so when you give to Him the one thing you haven't given up yet.
20. You won’t fully agree with everyone and that’s okay.
Our “heroes” of the faith are humans who still fall short. Not every belief they firmly hold on to will be something you completely agree on (even though they might back it up with Scripture). Everyone is prone to have different interpretations that are heavily influenced by personal life experiences or other presuppositions. Agree to disagree, yes. But make it an effort to be known for what you’re for, not what you’re against.
21. You will feel inadequate and unqualified.
Whether it’s simply sharing your testimony, the Gospel, or even serving in ministry, you will always, always feel like you are not fully equipped. If Jesus was able to use twelve young and uneducated disciples during His ministry on earth, He can use you. Embrace the reality that Jesus doesn’t call the qualified, but rather, qualifies the called.
22. Merely possessing sound doctrine and theology does not save you.
Of course, without these things, we cannot have the right Christ in mind. But there comes a point when all we have is head knowledge that does not save. Theology should be a means of our participation in delighting the will of God through knowing Jesus. There’s an immense difference between knowing someone and knowing about someone. Judas heard the sermons of Jesus. Judas surrounded himself with genuine believers. Judas lived with Jesus for three years. Yet, Judas did not even know who Jesus was. In all your striving for theological excellence, seek to have Christ in view.
23. It’s okay to change perspective and reshape your beliefs.
Not all is black and white. Not all theological traditions are scriptural. Not all you were taught is biblical. Weigh what you’ve held on to accordingly with God’s Word and ask for the Spirit’s guidance. Keep what is biblical. Strain out what is not.
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